Hope

Last night this one came to me within about 10 minutes. I did some minor changes with the last few verses. This one is a bit autobiographical, though about everyone can relate to that low feeling that sneaks up from time to time. The title of this is one I wanted to use for a poem and sure enough, here it is...

There's Hope for Me Yet



Depressed? I guess
At least I haven't
pumped a bullet in my chest
But I am desperately looking for a dress
even though many are jammed pressed
on the pole... damnit
can't find one that fits!

Am I stressed?
Sure, I haven't made the best
of this life
but no strife.
See the knife?
It's cutting a grilled cheese sandwich
not through my stomach.

Am I hard pressed?
Perhaps... I can attest
life trials are similar to
the iron grooves of the panini press.
I'm tough sourdough
taking the heat but get flattened
in the end.

Deflated?
Well, yes...
Nevertheless,
I am not defeated
Though not yet completed
I'm not a hopeless
utter mess.

This one is #43...

on my 2009 Poem List- Rock Show Wristband




You gave me a sweet moment
allowing me amazing access
to spectacular excess,
great space to roam,
and special attention.

But I was not stuck on you.
No, you were more so on me.
You got so ragged.
So, I eventually had to cut you off.
You were worth nothing in the end.

A Blizzard of thoughts....

I love, LOVE my Luna guitar. Plays just right. Good for a newbie like me.



MY NEWS UPDATE: I'm going to work the Blizzard gaming event this weekend in Anaheim. Don't know if I'll get any perks but many guys (and girls) would kill to get in through the doors. Ozzy Osbourne's performing as well. Creepy creatures abound, RPG nerds galore...oh my!
http://www.blizzard.com/us




MUSING: Terrorist from Lockerbie bombing is getting freed while people are going crazy over Michelle Obama wearing shorts on vacation? Are you kidding me? Oh, the sad, sad state of news today!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pan_Am_Flight_103


POETRY: From margin scratch writing, I've created 3 poems:

1. Halle Berry


There is no "me" in Halle Berry-
just "he"
He wants me to be
just like her
I don't bother to try-
On to another guy



2. Supposedly

Supposedly, I have perfect breasts
not too big, not too small
completely "cuppable"
Capable of driving a man whild in motion

Well, he should give my mind a test
and consider me all
That is, if he's willing and able
to even grasp that motion.


3. Cougar Class


I need to school him in
teach him the basics
If I have to
Claw the chalkboard
to get his attention
I will
Oh Will
my sweet Willie,
I can't wait until
you turn 18

3 days of 30...

and nothing's changed! I don't feel old, not making big deal over some winkles magnified a hundred times in my mind. By God's graces and great genes, I still look fairly young. Overall, I'm feeling that the thirties will be a time in which I finally figure out myself and setlled down with a greater Leo confidence I know I can show, if not 100%, maybe 93%.

What I ate on my birthday:
1 Egg scrambled w/cheddar cheese(if not 1 whole a little less) , 2 slices of bacon and a small dump of grits (OMG- hadn't had in a while)

Dinner at Frida Restaurant: Resplandor de Mango (yummy baby greens salad with diced mango, goat cheese), one cheese goridta (size of a meatball) and a glass of Riesling. Also about 3/4 of a slice of tres leches cake.

Poetically, I have not summed up this occasion of turning 30. I suspect that I will a bit later. It's like as I do with my poetic end of the year summaries of the past few years- finalize my thoughts about 3 or 5 weeks later in an epic-long poem.

Some random thoughts...

This was originally was written on Aug 1. I'm flirting on modifying this but we shall see..

There's Something About (tenative title)

there's something about
a doggie when he turns
his head to the side

it gets to me every time

and when I see a Lucy rerun
every now and then,
like the grape stomping episode.

I giggle each time

and when I look at
a passing baby bouncing on by
with googly eyes

I get goofy...

and forget about
all the bad stuff in this world

OMG Guess who's turning 30

Beginning of August 2009... this month marks a major mile stone, 30. Wow! I'm not quitely feeling it, certaainly don't look it (everyone says this, so it MUST be true).....does this means that 30 won't happen then? Hehe... No anxiety over 30 really. Save the black balloons- or bring them on!

Today... another beautiful one in southern California. I walked around Old Towne Orange, went to a church rummage sale (got cute black pumps w/out crazy heels), walked around to a few more sales at houses and picked up a long black blazer and a Rolling Stones guitar pick necklace. Then, I went to the ridulously awesome $1 bookstore and spent about $30 mostly on poetry related books (just had to get Cliff Notes for The Divine Comedy to go along with everyone else) OK, it will take forever to get through all that I have bought but it was all worth a great deal! Someone must remove me from a book sale for the next 2 months.

I played the guitar for a hour or so. Doing the self-teach is not bad so far but I do think to make a bond with a player so, besides YouTubing and searching some random dudes gracious enough to give advice with free audio lessons. I've got C major down! Soon, all the basic chords will feel comfortable for me.

I'm gonna rock the evening out with music in my ears while try to get in a poetic mood. Gotta get inspired!